Eye Contact

Most public speakers can't keep good eye contact.

Eye contact is the most important part of body language,
more important than gestures, facial expressions, or how you move.
Your eyes are almost as important as your mouth,
because you connect with your eyes.

Speakers avoid eye contact

• to avoid the audience, their judges

• to look at everyone so they rush between eyes,

• to think of the next thing to say and not get distracted.

Many beginners, but also experienced speakers,
look at the floor, the roof, or their papers.
They hold monologues like the audience isn't there.

Other speakers, usually those with more experience,
look people in the eyes, but their eyes dart around.
They look at one person for a second, then move on.
Most speakers do not look, but glance, at people in the audience.
It feels like the speaker speaks to you, but not with you.

Then there are the few speakers, who look at you,
and speak to you, as you were the only person in the room.
Even when they move to the next person,
you still feel part of a conversation, not a speech.

So how do you become the last type of speaker,
the one who really connects?

It's not complicated, but it takes some practice.
You speak like to a small group of friends.

Look at someone. Say one full thought. Short pause.
Look at the next person. Say one full thought.
One thought per person.
Like a serial conversation.

This has many advantages:
Listeners feel included, not just spoken to.
You don't overload your brain with faces. You see one face per thought.
You look confident when you keep eye contact.

So practice holding eyes for one complete thought.
Then move to the next person.
You won't stare them down.
You will speak as in a conversation,
and you will become a much better speaker.